I am delighted to have Esther Felder, owner of Soul Medicine, as my guest for my blog this month about wellbeing!
She is an experienced Spiritual Teacher and Mentor with over 12 years experience in transformational healing. She uses an intuitive and holistic approach to complete wellness, as she focuses on the relationship you have with yourself, with others, your career/business, the universe and Mother Earth. Her mission is to provide an honest and professional service which will leave you with greater clarity and joy in your life. 
She has kindly accepted my invitation to interview her and discuss the links between wellbeing and decluttering.
Mona: Hi Esther! Tell us about yourself and what does “Soul Medicine” mean in your perspective?
Esther: Hello thank you for having me as a guest blog on your site, I hope I can add some value to the readers’ lives and provide some simple guidance.
Soul Medicine is any form of medicine that can help the mind, body and soul to be more inline. We carry so many emotions and feelings that do not always serve our highest good that we can feel much better when we have assisted in clearing them away. When we feel better our lives have more meaning and we are not as burdened by some of the limiting thoughts and fears that can hold us back. Some of the things we unconsciously say to ourselves are so hidden that we are unaware sometimes what is holding us back. When these are cleared we can feel much better and start to look after ourselves and others much more which then affects all the relationships we are having in our lives.
Mona: There is a quote on your website that says: “To end the disharmony and discord with your true spirit, you must first release with healing, then you will discover one’s true self.” How does this fit with the definition you provided above?
Esther: I help men and women eliminate some of the core wounds that they are carrying. We all have something that is holding us back, whether that’s a lack of love for ourselves, feeling unworthy or not good enough, putting unrealistic deadlines and targets on ourselves or on the other hand procrastinating and stopping ourselves from living the lives we really want. In addition, living in lack in some way, not eating the right foods, addictions, choosing unhealthy relationships plus much more. We think we know our true spirit but there is so much more to uncover in relation to health, happiness, creativity, love, beauty, inner and outer success. I have helped many men and women feel much better especially from the inner chatter that has been keeping them stuck. They have been happier in their jobs, found love, healed from painful past experiences, ended the negative self-chatter, started looking after their minds, bodies and souls to live more fulfilled lives.
Mona: Any person who is going through a decluttering journey will face many obstacles. My framework that I use is (Calm, Agile, Effective) since I know for a fact that being calm and in a zen-like, stress-free position is so important. How can your intuitive and holistic approach help in this phase?
Esther: A decluttering journey can be a very emotional time as you may be clearing away items which have happy or even painful memories. I totally agree to feel calm is extremely effective. A good idea is to play some music that will help you and light some candles. Some may choose to listen to soothing music to help calm themselves especially if the decluttering is relating to painful memories such as a loved one passing over, a child leaving home or a relationship break up. You may wish to have someone with you to help the process in this instance. Do it in stages and ensure that you are nurturing yourself as much as you can in the process. Take lots of walks in the country or near some water to help clear your mind. If you feel like crying then do as holding in emotions can be so damaging. We have to feel to release. Don’t feel that you have to rush to clear it all out as you may wish to take some more time to decide what you want to keep.
On the other hand if the decluttering doesn’t relate to painful memories you may wish to play uplifting music when having a clear out to get the job done. I will always remember my mum playing rock and roll when she used to spring clean the house when I was younger and she made it fun. I declutter on a regular basis and it’s so good for the soul. We constantly change and I feel it’s a great idea to live a much simpler life. I look at my house and think ‘do I really need all of this stuff? does it make me happy or bring me joy?” I look at my clothes and ask myself honestly if I will really wear them and if they suit my style. I regularly sell things online or take items to the charity shops or the homeless places where I live. I also give things to friends and their children if I think they will be of use.
Mona: Many people struggle with sentimental items that have either joyful or painful memories attached to it. I normally advise to keep them to the very end of the decluttering process, otherwise, the whole project comes to a stop. What is your best practice in this regard if someone approaches such items?
Esther: I covered a little bit of this in my previous reply. I would totally agree with you and to take their time and it’s best to clean the area and declutter the items that you know that you no longer need.
It is very difficult for those who have lost someone through death, as this can be one of the most emotional things anyone will ever have to go through. As I said earlier, take your time and ensure you have someone with you to share the emotional load. Grieve takes time and you have to nurture yourself as much as you can in the process. Healing takes time and you will go through so many emotions. You know that you can’t keep all the items and you also don’t want to regret being hasty and wishing you had kept something that’s why some help from someone else can greatly help. We have kept some of the things my Dad used to have especially the old photos and some of the items that had been passed down through the generations. Always try and remember the actual spirit of the person and not just the items that relate to them as that really helps. Some of the people I have spoken to have found it’s therapeutic at times to remember all the memories while they are clearing out houses. Laughing at some memories while crying at others.
If it’s the end of a painful relationship break down then I do feel that you can try and clear most of the items away. That’s if it feels right to you as we are all different. I personally do not keep any jewellery or sentimental items from my past relationships. I have been like this for years as it helps clear the energetic link even if you are still friends with them. It’s almost like cutting the cords of the old so the new energy can come in. We have so many ‘things’ these days and we don’t really need any of them. If anything makes you feel sad when you look at it then my advice is to give it away. Don’t open up old wounds if unnecessary as only keeps you sad for longer. Focusing on healing yourself and showing yourself the love you deserve.
When I am decluttering my house or even when I am moving house I have taken photographs of items that have brought me joy so that I can remember the memories, especially the crazy clothes I use to wear when I was younger or items my daughter used to play with or clothes she wore. I don’t take photos of them all just the ones that make me smile the most. I have kept things like her first shoes as my father bought them as they make me smile.
Mona: Every one of us may have a distinctive way of dealing with everyday worries and negative thoughts. A thing I’ve learnt from Paulo Coelho’s “The Pilgrimage” is digging the nail of your index finger into the cuticle of the thumb of the same hand until it hurts. You then concentrate on the pain as a distraction. I personally do it and it somehow helps. Would you recommend this?
Esther: I have spent a long time understanding why I felt the way I did and to heal my mind, body and spirit. (Your spirit is your life force, your energy, your personality, your love and your creativity). It’s imperative to work on the core issues otherwise they will always be there. Our biggest job on the planet is to learn to love and accept ourselves more and to heal the negative part of our mindset so that it is at peace. Distraction only leads to more pain in the end.
My way of dealing with everyday worries or thoughts is to listen to my body, to feed it the nutritious food and drinks, to work on eliminating the negative thoughts and feelings I may have from time to time. I am an energy medicine specialist, therefore, heal myself on a regular basis as well as go for lots of walks in the countryside to get fresh air. I continually work on my mindset to remain as healthy as I can be as it’s a constant journey to wellness. I do yoga, conscious breathing and I go to see specialists in the field who help me with the hidden issues I may be feeding myself. The ego is very clever at we can hide it from ourselves. I listen to many meditations and mindfulness techniques plus read many books. I take my self-care very seriously as I want to get the most of the life I have while I am here on the planet. I think of my mind, body and spirit like I do my house, it needs regular clearing and cleaning and is not something I can do just now and again. To feel better I have to work on myself.
Mona: One of our objectives as coaches/mentors is for our clients to achieve their goals and to be happy. I suppose you share this as everyone is looking for happiness! People want from me this equation: (less clutter = happy life). What would your equation be and what would you do to make people maintain it?
I definitely agree with that .. less clutter = happier life. When we have less clutter in our minds and our hearts we really do feel much better. My work is like spring cleaning for the mind, body and the soul. I am able to bring peoples happiness back by clearing away the old. It isn’t painful either as we all lose a part of ourselves when we have been through upsetting times or illness. My wish is that everyone becomes empowered to lead fulfilling lives.
Mona: Last but not least, what final message would you like to send to our readers?
Having a clear out in any way definitely helps. Go for it and I promise you will feel much better afterwards. Even if you feel you have too much on already and feel stressed. It will help your stress afterwards I promise. Look at all the things you have any really ask yourself if you really need it. Does it bring you joy? Would you feel better if your house was clearer? Do you really need to buy so much in the first place? When our homes and workspaces are clearer it allows the space for more creativity and fun.
Lots of Love
Esther, Soul Medicine
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